I can authentically say that it was such a pleasure to see familiar faces from my career in health and wellness at Exhale Pilates Studio while I was home in Newfoundland over Christmas. I was so surprised when I heard that those fitness clients who inspired this travel blog years ago were still intrigued and reading. It touched me and reminded me of the community that exists, that we built through our passions and openness.
So for an authentic update, today, is a struggle. Yesterday I made a joke about how many balls I was juggling up in the air, but this evening, it’s that paralyzed state of what to do next. My health and wellness took a back seat on the priority bus since getting back to Melbourne early in January and now my favourite pants don’t fit. I do know the one thing I will do this evening is head to Armature Pilates for a 6PM workout. My body and mind needs it.
With the guilt of things to do, the blog often takes a back seat… but I just read the most inspiring quote and I thought, how can I share this? Well, I could commit to a 15 minute blog session that sees both writing and posting done within that time. How authentic would that be?
A fellow Music Therapy Student at my last placement suggested “12 Rules for Life” by Jordan Peterson and my turn to get this book from the library finally came on Sunday. The librarian told me he was controversial… now I’m even more excited for this book! In the forward by neuroscientist Norman Doidge, the idea of recruiting people for TV comes up. Doidge is referring to his friend who knows how to spot people “who can really talk in front of a TV camera and who look authentic because they are.”
Apparently the camera picks up on that. In my experience, I know so do kids, as well as audiences. I can be authentic and tell you that when filmmaker Ivy C Lin asked to film me in 2016, first I thought it was a scam but then I figured well, we’re meeting in a public place where my gig is, and she knows where the gig is, and who the booking agent is, so if she is a well-researched scammer… anyways, 5 minutes to go….
So as months passed and then years, I figured, well my face must not be for the screen, she couldn’t use the material, because I’m not pretty enough. I’m not good enough. All the shit negative self-talk we put ourselves through. All the shit negative self talk I can put myself through while editing these damn posts sometimes.
Since taking a few weeks and finally sharing the video on Facebook, people have told me they really like the video, and that it is “so me.” I’m a little touched. There’s no make-up, there’s not even any lipstick! Someone said: “I wish I was in a room with you playing music and entertaining all those people – it’s beautiful!” I now realize, my love for pianos is something that takes over my entire being and something that I can’t hide from the camera. And apparently, it’s still interesting, even if I couldn’t be bothered to put on a little lipstick. Check out the 12 minute documentary on Vimeo here: https://vimeo.com/317377881
Here’s to you. Here’s to me. Here’s to authenticity. And here’s to my Oscar performance 🙂